A remedy of some kind, any at all
by CuteVampireCollie
Summary: Raven knows as soon as she sees the expression on Terra's face. Knows what Terra's planning to do. And why she's doing it. And even though all Raven wants to do is find a way to bring her back, she's trapped in a pit of her own despair, wishing she had given Terra a second chance like the others had. Hints of Terra/Raven.


**A remedy of some kind, any at all**

**Pairing: Terra/Raven**

**Genre: Angst**

**Author: CuteVampireCollie**

_My eyes widened as I looked on in helpless horror at what was happening. Terra had triggered the volcano's power, which had only lain dormant for many years before now. "Terra's power! It's triggered a volcano!" I looked at Robin helplessly, then the others and I saw the same fear I knew was on my face reflected on theirs. "It's big enough to wipe out the entire city; way too big to stop." Cyborg's voice was strained at best and his brows were furrowed and that told me he was furiously searching through his hard drive to try and find a file with enough power to at least contain the eruption. Which I knew without a doubt was futile._

_The earth pounded beneath our feet and the vibrations bounced back and forth-physical echoes- between the walls, causing them to deteriorate further. Terra and Beast Boy seemed to be having a conversation of sorts and I strained my ears to listen. Their words were dim compared to the thunderous roaring of the volcano's murderous anger but as I saw Beast Boy's eyes widen and Terra smile sadly, my heart began to thump a painful tattoo against my chest, black and blue and only speaking the truth. I knew what Terra was planning to do. I _knew.

_Terra sent Beast Boy away from her and back towards us by gently directing the slab of rock the changeling was sitting on and she looked at each of us in turn, her blue eyes the happiest I had ever seen them but with a lingering sadness I knew nothing could or would ever replace. Her eyes paused on my face and her lips quivered slightly, but she remained strong. I had doubted her true power. Even in the face of falling rocks and boiling lava she wasn't afraid. But her power was earth so in a way it made sense. _

_Her eyes closed and the rock she stood on teleported her away from us in what seemed like an agonizingly slow movement. Robin took Beast Boy by the arm and we all began to run back towards the entrance of the underground chamber. I wanted so badly to turn back and at least look. Even though Terra had betrayed us I knew with what she was about to do her previous actions would all become water under the bridge and slowly trickle away. I closed my eyes tightly, for once allowing my body to show what it was feeling inside regardless of the power of my abilities. I bit my lip hard and I knew my eyes were burning, ready to tear up at any moment. We reached normal ground level and I took a deep breath of air, realizing Terra never would again. I inhaled even deeper, for her. She had loved the fresh air and loved the outdoors, always hating to be cooped up. And now she'd be cooped up forever. _

_The last thing any of us heard was a scream holding immense power, a scream of pain as well as triumph. I closed my eyes, letting the world fall away. I had known from the moment I saw Terra smile that she had been planning to sacrifice herself but her lingering scream made it all the more real; made what she had done a reality. I pulled my hood up, warily watching the others. My emotions even I couldn't handle right now and I normally had a strong grip on them. There was no way in Azerath that I would be able to handle theirs too. I turned away, feeling their melancholy sorrow even though I had begun to walk away. It would linger in all of us, this pain. Like Terra's scream…it would be forever recurring. _

I opened my eyes slowly, seeing the dark walls of my room spin back into focus. I instantly began to mentally berate myself, snatching up the thick book beside me with a quiet hiss of self-aggravation. I hadn't meant to fall asleep. I was meant to be searching for a reverse spell. One that would change the effects of Terra turning to stone. One that would bring her back. How could I have been so stupid?

"I never even gave her a second chance. All the other did but I didn't. Why didn't I?" For me to question myself, especially _out loud _was a rarity in itself but for me to not even care enough to feel embarrassed at the thought someone could be listening in was completely unheard of. But for Terra's sake, I found I really didn't care. Flashbacks of that horrible day were continuously replaying themselves in my head and it was making it hard to think straight instead of strengthening my resolve to find the answer to this puzzle.

Every minute, every second of every minute, every second of every minute of every day I was haunted by these cruel flashes of reality. She had sacrificed herself. For us. For the world and its people which she felt she had only betrayed by trying to bring good wherever she went and then failing because of the feeble control she had over her powers. And all I had thought, all I had _said_ was that she was evil and had no doubt been born that way. I clenched my eyes shut at both the memory of those words being said and the sound of my door opening. No one was supposed to come into my room. And the other titans knew that. "Raven…"

"Beast Boy, I told you never to come into my room." My heart began beating its wild and painful staccato rhythm and I had to fight to control a more than likely spontaneous outburst of my powers. Beast Boy didn't deserve that. And I was stronger than that. Or at least I had liked to think I was. "Raven, I know you're…uh, upset, but we all are too. You shouldn't lock yourself up in your room, refusing to come out even when we need to kick bad guy butt."

He paused, wringing his hands together nervously. The green changeling's sweat practically smelled of fear. Was I really that…..yeah, no I definitely was. I turned toward him, letting my bottom lip fall out of my teeth's grasp and relaxing the tense, agitated muscles in my face, trying to lessen the inevitable migraine. "Raven, she wouldn't want you to beat yourself up like this. She'd be beating herself up, you know that." And with his words so carelessly said, so badly worded, I snapped, a powerful gust of dark, ominous wind whirling about my room. Practically ripping the curtains, knocking over some of my statues, blowing my bedside table completely on its side.

My powers came out in the form of a pitch black, shadow-feathered phoenix towering behind me and Beast Boy gulped. Yes…I definitely was terrifying. And with good reason. I couldn't stand when people didn't stop and think before speaking or acting. It was one of the reasons why sometimes it was hard for myself and Starfire to get along.

"How would you know what _she_ would have wanted? _You're_ not _her._ And _she's_ not here because she did beat herself up. She _sacrificed _herself for us Beast Boy!" I felt my lips curl back in a sneer, anger and tension rising to the surface of my already frazzled and beyond tired brain. He stepped back, a nervous habit that many people attained when around me or after spending time with me but unlike most others, Beast Boy stood his ground this time.

"You're right, Raven. I'm not her. And you're not her either. But she still wouldn't have wanted you to beat yourself up for this. If anything, she's probably wondering what the heck made you willing to fight for her so hard. Last I checked, she was evil and was born that way." I pinched my nose between my thumb and forefinger, sighing restlessly. I hated having my words thrown back at me. I already had them in my head enough as it was.

"She sacrificed herself Beast Boy. Besides, you were right to not give up on her. Cyborg got a sample of the suit she was wearing when he was targeting her and it was embedded in her skin and nervous system. And those snazzy things on her head? Neural processors wired into her skull. Slade really did think of everything. She was vulnerable and wanted control and he came to her, offering it willingly. Even when it came time for him to receive his payment from her in the form of betrayal and apprenticeship he knew there was a chance she'd break away from his control. So he took extreme precautions."

"There was absolutely no way Terra could have said no to him. Because he controlled the suit. He had control of her brain and body through her nervous system. The fact that she actually was able to break free in the end was a surprisingly strong show of willpower. None of us even stopped to think that she could be more of a puppet than even Robin had been when under Slade's control. We all doubted her. Except for you."

I had never said so many words and sentences at once in my entire life…and what really sucked was I felt no better after getting some of this pent-up anger out that I had when it was all piling up like the dangerous mountain of clothes in Beast Boy's closet. If anything I felt worse. I had let someone-Beast Boy of all people-see deeper inside me than anyone ever had. But the words had already left my mouth so there was no point in trying to rectify or salvage the situation.

Beast Boy coughed nervously and put his weight on his other foot, a sign of nervous anxiety. "If it makes you feel any better there was a time when I did doubt her. Right after Slade showed up when Terra and I were at the amusement park and explained everything. I told her she didn't have any friends even after promising that I would always be her friend no matter how bad of a thing she had done."

His words didn't make me feel better, but I had to give Beast Boy some props for trying. Which is more than anyone else had. Even Robin was more….down than usual. Which wasn't like him. He was either playing video games with Cyborg and Beast Boy, training, fighting bad guys or obsessing over Slade. And I had a feeling that he wasn't feeling upset because of the fact Slade was gone. That should have brought the boy wonder elation. I also didn't think it was because he didn't get to finish Slade off. Just like the rest of us, he missed the blonde earth user. Like me, he didn't know how to talk to anyone about what he was feeling. But just because we were alike in this way didn't mean we would seek each other for solace.

"That doesn't make me feel better just so you know, Beast Boy. Now out. I'd like to get back to my research." I moved away giving him as cold of a glare as I could muster and waited for him to walk out, holding the book of spells tight against my chest. "For what it's worth, Raven…I think she'd be the happiest she's ever been if she knew what you were doing for her….even after everything she's done."

Finally he turned and walked out, the automatic door sliding closed behind him and the book landed with a thud on the floor as I tried desperately to not cause a tidal wave with the outpour of my emotions. I sank to the floor, hunched over as I pointlessly tried to regain control over the dam that had already broken apart, the tears rolling fast and furiously down my cheeks.

I hurriedly grabbed the book once more as if my life depended on it-which maybe my life didn't but my sanity sure did, giving my mind something to do other than try and come up with thoughts helpful enough to help heal my aching, bleeding heart. I hadn't realized how much Terra would end up meaning to me. It was my own fault I was in such distress right now.

_I'll find a way, Terra. I have to. For both of us…_

AN: Wow, my first true Teen Titans fic. Because my crappy Yu-Gi-Oh!/Teen Titans crossover from when I first made my account does not count. And it got a lot of reviews, too when it sucked monkey butt and I still don't know why it was liked so much. XD Anyway, I recently started re-watching Teen Titans and I've come up with A LOT of fanfic ideas. Like nine more after this one. I just finished Terra's arc and it reminded me how much I've always loved her and was able to empathize with her. She and Xion are two of those characters that I just really connect with. (Not that Xion is from Teen Titans, but….^^;)

So to summarize, this idea came from how upset Raven was when Terra betrayed them, if you couldn't already guess. ;D And this is my take on how Raven would have acted, felt, etc about everything after and including Terra sacrificing herself. I think this story turned out a bit raw….like I don't think it sucks. I actually think it's really good. I just feel it could have been better or it's just…too touchy-feely for Raven, maybe? I don't know. -ORZ- 

I do apologize if Raven was OOC in any way. I know she rarely cries (I think the only time she might have ever actually cried would have been in her arc in season 4 but I can't remember because I'm not that far yet. XD;) but I felt it was appropriate because she did really seem angry when Terra betrayed them and that was because she really did trust and care for Terra even though she said she never did. I just think Raven needs to be honest with herself about how she's feeling sometimes instead of just letting it all bottle up. So….-shrugs- I apologize again if any of this wasn't to your TT/Raven standards. I will just say that flames will be removed and ignored and reviews will be met with love. ;W;

Also, while I'm here, I would like to apologize for not being on, not replying/reviewing/uploading for awhile because I just got my new computer (although while I'm writing this I'm having internet problems. -_-). I have been reviewing/replying a bit because thank the Lord above for the internet capability on new technology, my 3DS, Carizme is being very well behaved when it comes to fanfiction. Now deviantart…..sadly not so well behaved. My 3DS can be very finicky. Anyways…(I'm really rambling now) I hope you enjoyed this fic and expect to see more from me. Also for the KaZe lovers out there and who have read my most recent story before this one, not to worry I am brainstorming the idea for the prequel to that story and should start writing it very soon. :D

With much love (and oh, how I've missed you dear, beloved readers),

~CuteVampireCollie~


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